Ramona, you’re talking to your mum!

When people meet me and ask what my parents think of my ‘lifestyle choices’, my answer is that they don’t. Because they don’t. (Right, mum?😬)

Some time earlier this year, I run into one of the people that my parents work with sometimes,

Him: Is that Ramona? Eh! How are you? What’s that in your nose? It’s permanent? Eh!

(No, I never get asked this)

At which point he bent over to catch a glimpse of inside my nose.

When I was telling my mum this story five minutes later, I was telling her how people must think her and my dad failed as parents, as explanation for my almost nonexistent body art. So, they offer their parenting services at no cost at all! And, we laughed about this. (My dad didn’t find it as funny, ‘Where is he? No, no. He needs to be talked to.’ After which he ‘encouraged’ his people to mind their business.)

Last year, I attended a week long event where I was representing my parents, and for everyday of that week, this particular gentleman(who I didn’t know) would seek me out. At first, to understand why I’d gotten the septum piercing and then later in the week, to try and convince me to take it out, ‘but you’re a beautiful girl. You don’t need those things.’

(Yes, his presence started to grow on me)

(Also, I don’t know about need, but about 15 months after I got my septum pierced, I had to remove it for an internship meeting. It blocked after being out for all of two hours, and even if it was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced, I went back and had it repierced— blood, tears and all.)

While this is what I expected from people my parents’ age, I was surprised that people my age are also mad!

When I first started actively looking for a tattoo artist, a friend and I run into this lady with a cool tattoo l, and we asked her about her artist. Before she shared his number she warned us about how people would make up their minds about us before they even interacted with us. We were like, ‘duh!’ What we didn’t see coming though were the mental health and self harm accusations(ha), the self righteous, ‘honey, would you put bumper stickers on a Bentley?’ Kim K interview, over-sexualisation from men, strangers telling me about how their parents would react if they took me back as their betrothed, etc, etc.(etc, for real. I could go on and on).

Now, about how my parents feel: In my first year in uni, I did pink braids. Never once did I think they would be an avant garde choice, but they were. One person in passing said to me, ‘eh, whose house do you live in with that hair?’ I thought it was funny, so I told my mum.

My mum: Shya..Okay they have black/brown hair, but they have bad hearts!

Anyway, to put everyone’s minds at ease— nothing I do shocks my parents, at all. Only y’all. Everything is quite on brand.

Oh oh… and about the title: A few years ago, after saving enough 500/- coins to get a second tattoo, I was hounding my mum for ideas on where I should get it, right before my appointment.

After a few mumbled, ‘idk’, ‘put where you want’, she snapped.

Her: Ramona, you’re talking to your mum!

(😬)