Episode 2: I found my Johnny!

Yesterday, right before publishing the post, I had the strongest possible panic attack one can have in half a second, but then, did I die? Please, let’s get to it.

The other day, I encountered the man of my dreams.

A fantasy of a man— tall, dark and not too handsome; with just the right portion of everything; mystery, charm, confidence.

I could not look away! Not only because he was fine (which I’ll emphasise again— he was.), but also because he was the funniest thing to ever walk the planet (second, of course, only to me).

Oh, and the charisma, mad!!

When I tell you it was love at first sight— hook, line, and sinker.

I knew that all the people I’d told I’d be getting married no earlier than forty would be calling me a liar at my wedding in a few weeks.

Now, don’t go thinking I’m some guileless gold digger (and I can confirm that there is in fact gold), falling for this man and giving no thought whatsoever to the heartbreak that would ensue from the discovery that he did not feel the same. You can trust me when I say (without divulging too many details of course), that there was not doubt in my mind. No doubt!

Small loophole however, was the fact that I never considered that his sexual orientation would be the one thing that would get in the way of our happily ever after.

Anyway, check out Jerrod Carmichael— stand up sets, specials, movies(esp. ‘On the count of three’ ) Gay or not, he’s still a good laugh.

NB.

It’s okay. This stayed in the drafts for so long, I stood up.

NBB.

I can confirm that as of this minute, I googled him, and he still very much slaps.