Who says proposals have to be romantic

There’s this older woman that owns a shop near my house (shout-out shopkeepers), and whenever my mum and I walked past, my mum always made it a point to say hello. I never did. One day, she stops me and I’m thinking I’m definitely going to get the talk down of the century for  not greeting my elders.

‘So, I was thinking’ she starts, ‘that I get for you a husband, and you get married.’

I only realise that I’m laughing when she tells me to stop. That’s when I also realise she’s being serious.

‘I have my son there who has sent me to tell you. He wants to marry you.’

Silence.

‘So what do you think?’

I’m thinking this is one of the funnier things I expected would happen today, so I’m struggling to keep a straight face.

‘No, thank you,’

‘Why? What reason should I give him?’

I’m also thinking ‘our poor grandmothers! This is how men used to move?’ Say what you want about our generation, but at least our brides know what their future husbands look like. And have an idea of their financial standing.(very important!!!)

I mumble something about still being in school, and leave— tickled and beyond excited to tell my mother of my first official marriage proposal.

Well, she doesn’t quite see the humour in the situation. At all! (She goes on to tell my father, who also doesn’t take it well, and thus starts the ongoing beef with a sixty-possibly-seventy-something year old pimp.)

Anyway, you know how parents say they don’t care who you end up with.. as long as you’re happy? I’m calling bullshit. 😂